The Spoon

We tend to view trust as the foundation of all relationships, so it has an obvious importance when you're working in a team environment. But how do we actually build that trust in our teams? Let’s start with some basics: authentic communication.

Communication that isn’t authentic destroys trust. Authentic communication, the cornerstone of all trusting relationships, requires far more than speaking the truth. It’s like the old saying: “It’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it.” The words you use, the tone of voice, the context in which the ‘message’ is given, even your facial expressions and body language, can all be used to create a false impression in another person’s mind.

The only truly trustworthy person is the one who communicates by being exactly who he or she is – and when they do this, you know it. There’s never a question about who they are and what they’re intending. Authentic communication goes far beyond the façade to include full disclosure of what that person believes, what he or she wants, and how well your own needs and concerns are being understood.

When communication is authentic, you know where you stand. Empathy is high because the authentic communicator takes the time and trouble to listen and respond fully. Authenticity is high, because those responses are open and complete — there’s no avoiding the issue, no vague words and misleading phrases. There are certainly no facial expressions, tone of voice and body language conveying a different message than what’s being said.

If you want to build trust with those you work with, authentic communication is essential. Without this, every word spoken or written may be factual, but dishonest none-the-less.

Do employees quit because of a bad relationship with their boss, or because they don't like a company? Do they quit because they can make more money elsewhere, or do they stay because they simply like what they do?

Survey results published in the May edition of the Journal of Corporate Recruiting Leadership give us some answers:

Do agree with these survey results? Why or why not? In previous career experiences, what were your reasons for leaving an organization? What factors have influenced you to stay in an organization?

Use the comment link below to share your thoughts.

In interviews, Olympic athletes are always asked about their competitors and past accomplishments (or dissapointments). Listen carefully and you'll hear the athlete’s answer focuses not on what needs to be done to out-perform their competition - but what needs to be done to rise to the occasion and surpass their own past personal best.

One of the greatest examples I've heard coming from the Beijing Olympics is from the NBA's Jason Kidd. As he was packing his suitcase for a month on the road with Team USA, he had a decision to make: should he bring along the Olympic gold medal he won eight years ago in Sydney? It's the only gold medal that any of the 12 American players can brag about owning. Kidd pondered whether having that medal dangling in front of them would inspire Team USA to work hard for the gold, or breed jealousy and envy. In the end, he decided to leave the gold medal inside a safe deposit box at a bank in Houston and to start concentrating solely on what lies ahead: The challenge of coming home from Beijing with another gold.

"I didn't want to jinx myself by bringing it and looking at it. I want to play for this: Beijing. I want to play for this gold medal," Kidd told ESPN.com.

This is a phenomenal reminder that as leaders, we must always strive to be better than we were the preceding day, week, month, or year. We must look to the opportunities ahead and focus on what we can do now to do our own personal best.

When you have a project, does it tend to grow or shrink to fit into the window of time you actually have available to do it? Project Managers: have you ever seen a project finish under the projected time allotted for the work? Rarely. Software engineers: What happens when there is not a definitive due date? The project expands infinitely, right?

Is it procrastination? Maybe a lack of planning? Demanding timelines? Unrealistic expectations? What about limited resources?

Nope. It's a phenomenon called Parkinson's Law. No, not the degenerative disorder of the nervous system. The Parkinson's that I'm talking about was defined way back in the 1950s by an Englishman named C. Northcote Parkinson.

A true cynicist, Parkinson said, "work will fill the time available for its completion." More generally, Parkinson's Law says: "The demand upon a resource always expands to match the supply of the resource."

There are several corollaries to Parkinson's Law:

• Data expands to fill the space available for storage.
• Buying more memory encourages the use of more memory-intensive processes.

I'm going to venture to say that Parkinson's Law impacts every single one of us.

• Do you have a problem with space? Did you get a larger desk or office because you "needed more room", only to find that you've now managed to fill up the new, larger space?
• Do the items on your To-Do list get crossed off? No matter how much your list grows, responsibility and diligence help you get it all done... eventually.
• Does your bank account balance get really frustrated with you sometimes? As an individual's income rises, their costs of living and lifestyle increases to meet their income level.

So, victims of Parkinson's Law, how do we get around it? Feel free to share your suggestions using the comments funciton. Here are a couple of mine:

• Manage your time: try working with a kitchen timer. Studies show that 48 minutes is a good increment of time for completing a wide variety of tasks. Set your timer, get to work, and don't stop until it dings. You'll love the results.
• Manage your space: try thinking smaller. If you're going to fill it to the gills regardless of size, maybe a smaller desk or bookshelf will cut down on the number of things gathering dust. At home, replace your sports equipment closet with a Wii.
• Manage your money: pay yourself first. Set up automatic transfers to your savings account on payday. If you can't see the money, you can't spend it, right?

The Reluctant Leader
by Angie, LeadStar On Our Minds


My parents had a huge family 4th of July picnic at their home in Northern Michigan. Since they live on a lake and have tons of water toys, aunts, uncles and cousins flock to their house so they can swim, water ski, and go for pontoon rides.

It was great being with my family this holiday, especially seeing all the toddlers and preschoolers splashing around in the water. Though the water was chilly, the kids didn’t mind. I, however, did. I’m kind of a wimp when it comes to cold water and on that day I had no intention of getting wet. That was, of course, until my younger cousins wanted to go water skiing and needed someone to help them out.

Ugh. I knew this was a moment when I was being called upon to lead - this was my opportunity to influence outcomes and inspire others. I’d have to get wet and walk in the freezing water past my ankles and I didn’t want to do it. I asked a few of my cousins if Jenni (my sister) wanted to help them. (Leaders do delegate, after all.) Nope. They wanted they wanted their “Aunt Angie” to do it.

In a moment I analyzed my choices:
I could say “no” and hope that someone else would help them.
I could say “yes” and help them water ski for the first time.

What I wanted to do and what I actually did were two very different things.

As I pushed past the pain and walked into the water, and then succeeded at getting my cousins up on water skies, I suddenly thought less about me and started rejoicing in their success. After all the kids had their chance to ski, I swam back to shore to share in my cousins’ enthusiasm.

This all reminded me that being a leader is often about choice, selflessness and can require some discomfort. But the joys of leadership are great when compared against the alternative. The alternative keeps you inside your comfort zone and limits your life experiences. Being a leader allows you to get beyond yourself and create positive experiences that will make a lasting impression on your life.

So the morale of this story is simple: the next time an opportunity comes across your plate and you immediately think “no way,” give the idea a second thought. You never know what you’re turning down until you challenge yourself to explore what’s in front of you.

Check out this PodCast from The Cranky Middle Manager Show:

Episode #148: Conflict in Teams

When you hear the word “coaching” your first thought probably runs to sports. The names of great coaches like John Wooden, Vince Lombardi, and Don Shula may come to mind. But what about Jack Welch (General Electric), Estée Lauder (Estée Lauder, Inc.), and Walter E. Disney (The Walt Disney Company)?

What could sports’ greatest coaches have in common with some of business’ greatest leaders? Simple: these people knew how to lead others. Their influence spanned more than just the playing field or conference rooms. These individuals didn’t just have games to win or profits to make. They assumed the awesome responsibility of having human beings entrusted to their care.

These charismatic leaders infused energy and eagerness into their teams and employees. They used democratic approaches to inspire contribution, which increased performance satisfaction and ownership. These people-oriented leaders supported, trained, and developed those in their care, inspiring a genuine interest in achieving a job well-done. These leaders relied on a higher tactic than a commanding voice; as servant leaders, these great coaches and business leaders were instruments to their teams’ successes.

More than ever, we need to inspire each other to be innovative and deliver high quality solutions. Each day we have the opportunity to impact another’s life. Whether you are a supervisor, peer, or random acquaintance, the opportunities to serve and lead others are infinite. Take a few moments today to offer some positive feedback on a project, ask someone how you can help them, or just take a few minutes to show that you are interested in what your coworker is achieving.

Coaching is unlocking an individual’s potential to maximize performance. It provides the opportunity for focused, one-on-one discussions on how to maximize performance for both the individual and the organization. Here are some tips for coaching:

• Ask Questions – seek out information and stimulate conversation so that you can fully understand a situation before providing feedback or passing judgement. This is Steven Covey's ol' "seek first to understand, then be understood" principle of effective living.
• Give Feedback – a coach gives honest and immediate feedback, both GOOD and BAD. Delayed feedback loses its impact as time passes.
• Communicate – practice being open, clear, and concise with your team. Don’t forget to share information so team members have all the tools they need to make decisions and work effectively.
• Provide Recognition – while it’s important to address problems promptly, don’t forget the power of positive reinforcement. Recognize those that are achieving a job well-done.
• Dare to Dream – a coach can challenge and empower us to “think outside the box” and find a better way to get the job done.
• Serve Others – the role of a coach is to unlock hidden potential; a great leader attends to the development of others and supports excellence.